My first visit to a therapist
Quite a few friends have recommended me to see a therapist to ‘check in’ with myself. Just like people do medical check-ups regularly without any specific symptoms. The idea made sense to me but I did not really act upon it because I could not think of a topic that I would like to discuss with her or him.
Then, the break-up happened. I hurt someone that I do care about because of my anxiety and fear. Only after realizing that I made a huge mistake did I decide to take action.
I started seeing a therapist.
I found my therapist through a friend of mine in South Korea. Therapy sessions are quite costly in South Korea and not covered by the public insurance. As of 2020, a session costs an hourly rate of 70 euros. Given that seeing a house doctor costs 2–3 euros in South Korea. Hence, most of the time, people take the safest way to find a good therapist at one shot: Through the word of mouth. I asked around a few friends for recommendations, quickly finalized my ‘search’ for a therapist and set up an appointment.
I decided to have a Korean therapist because of the shared contextual background. I’m not saying western therapists would not have been able to understand and empathize with my upbringing. They would. But, it takes time and effort for me to articulate. For instance, if I say “I went to a foreign language high school in South Korea” to a non-Korean therapist, I need to deconstruct the symbol of what it means to go to a ‘‘foreign language high school” and what it is like. Whereas if it was a Korean therapist, the therapist would read the context right away that I was exposed to a highly competitive environment at a young age and pressure to succeed in studies (and life).
So far, I had three 90-minute sessions. What I like about my therapist is that she does the exact opposite to what I thought therapists do. She explains how the cognitive mind and brain works. She asks me questions carefully to examine assumptions behind my feelings. What she does is to adjust cognitive reaction to accommodate my feelings. Surprisingly, her approach is actually empathetic as well as logical.
That reminded me of Anthropology, which always trigger me to write. So, I decided to write about my experience and learnings from the session hoping that someone else will benefit from them.
More to come! and the next thing I want to write about is the difference between therapists and friends.
